Make Love

Making love is not abusive or thoughtless.  Everybody wants love and lots of us eat to get it.

The truth is, no amount of food will satisfy emotional needs. But when taste is the focus at mealtime, emotions that sabotage eating choices go away.

Be bold and imagine eating is making love to your body. Nobody has to know about it. But, you will feel thrilled because you will be honestly really relating to yourself when you eat.

Tuning-in to the taste and flavor of what you're eating, relaxes your whole body. It's a secret of good health and weight control. You digest food more efficiently and get a new perspective about why you're eating.  This keeps you in control.

• F stands for fulfill. Fulfill your physical need to taste what you put into your body. This will spare you the pain of overeating.
• O stands for occupy. Let eating occupy a place of pleasure in your life. Don't rush it or force it. Pleasure is another word for relaxing. Tense eating makes you gain weight.
• O stands for overcoming old habits that disconnect you from your body. Habits are a sign of aging. Let go of what hasn't worked and taste your food instead.
• D stands for discovering your determination.  Do it. Make the taste connection with your body and respond to it. 

Savor flavor.  Emotional eating is the result of losing this important connection with your body.
It's old news that food is Love. But it's still the truth. Share what you taste with others, savor the pleasure together. Stay young in your mind by connecting with your body.  Tune in to the pleasure of being in sync with yourself.

The next time you eat, make the love connection with your body. Be sure to taste food and have some fun.

Stop choking and lose weight!

"A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew." Herb Caen

We are supposed to learn from experience. Biting off more than you can chew means gaining weight, choking or feeling bloated after you eat.

Wisdom is slimming because it lightens life's burdens. This means when you take control of  eating by noticing how much food you're putting in your mouth, you will lose weight. It's easy to be wise.

Common sense is intuitive. Don't bite off more than you can chew. Use taste to enjoy what you put into your mouth. Talk about the pleasure of it. Pleasure of taste and texture is much sexier than calorie count for dinner conversation.

So what's stopping you? Old habits. Habits are like old age. They creep up and bend us out of shape and dull our minds. A habit that chokes is a monkey on your back. Shake it off.

The habit of focusing on negative thoughts about eating during mealtime will actually cause you to gain weight! Instead, eat sensually:

• Look at the colors on your plate. If they are not appetizing, don't eat it.
• Smell the food on your fork before it enters your mouth. Does the smell make your mouth water? Your mouth is the beginning of eating. 
• Talk more. Feed your emotions and your mind by being social at meal time. Time is all we have. Don't ignore opportunities to feed your soul as well as your body.

You will stop choking on your food and choking on your life by taking smaller bites and noticing what you're putting into your body. Losing weight is easy when you stop the diet habit and use common sense to be wise.

Bite off exactly what you can chew and focus on personal satisfaction. Don't let habits choke you! Be wise for yourself and lose weight.

You're too young to be a victim of habit. Plus, the victim mentality is so yesterday. 

You're never old enough to give up on yourself.

Comfort Food Time Capsule

Everyone knows food is a kind of love. You've heard about food that nurtures or about aphrodisiacs or even love potions. Eating is comforting because it nourishes us physically, emotionally and spiritually. Everyone has food imprints connected with memories that help us feel better.

When you eat to find comfort, you want to experience those memories again. That's what you're looking for. That's when enjoying comfort food makes sense.

Comfort food is a kind of intuitive time capsule. It's the experience of bringing a 'taste' of well-being or comfort back to you from the past so that you experience it again. 

Wanting comfort is intuitive.  Protecting yourself is too.

The trick of intuitive eating comfort food is to use intuitive tools  to think with all 6 senses to keep clear about your priorities. Then, please, eat and enjoy a refreshing time capsule experience. 

Here's how to safely enjoy the comfort in comfort food eating:

• Accept that you are going to have a comfort food.
• Commit to enjoying it by savoring the taste and how it makes you feel.
• Limit the size of your portion to the size of your fist.
• Smile after every bite, whether you want to or not. 
• Come back refreshed.  

 Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy. ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Stress Eating

Stress eating is chronic eating that doesn't make sense. It's a response we've learn and unfortunately adopt as habit.  Don't gain weight because of stress eating.

• It's not fun.
• It doesn't feel good
• You don't like yourself when you do it.

Stress is a natural response to protect yourself from danger that makes sense. Natural stress has a clear beginning middle and end: You're threatened, you avoid the threat and the threat passes.

Chronic stress is a habit of the 21st century that keeps us out of touch with our genuine priorities. It's a physical out of sync feeling we identify as fear, anger, anxiety or general insecurity.  If you're chronically stressed, eating food will prolong your suffering because it won't release the stress. Chronic stress eating includes:

• Turning to the freezer for ice cream  - This makes problems worse. 
• Jamming food down your throat without tasting - This it is totally unsatisfying.
• Eating a huge mound of food because it's available but not because you feel a physical hunger - This is like shooting yourself in the foot.

When you're stressed, your whole body tightens up and hormones tell your body to hold on to fat cells just in case you're about to be attacked! By holding on to a habit of allowing chronic stress around eating, you are holding on to fat.

Chronic stress is physically released by sleep, sex, exercise and laughing. Music is also a way to release and relax your body. Tune in to music, feel your body relax and tune in to yourself.

Stress is the opposite of relaxing. Relaxing tells your body it's okay to lose weight!

Eating is supposed to be relaxing. When food is tasted and enjoyed, eating becomes a prelude to other pleasures. It opens the doors to zero calorie conversations, self-affirming eating choices and mutual excitement.  This is how to eat to nourish your whole self.

When you eat, enjoy a nice relaxed meal. You'll eat less, talk more, feel better and look your best. It's amazing how treating yourself with respect works like a vitamin!

• Eat for pleasure, 
• Eat because it feels and tastes good and
• Be happy and relaxed with yourself.

On April 16th, I will be talking about How to Break the Cycle of Stress Eating at 9:30am central time,  streaming on www.wqqx1490am.com.  The show with former East St. Louis, Illinois Mayor, Carl E. Officer is called "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness", which is a good thought to focus on when you enjoy your next meal.

Discover Love.

Love is in the air. Can you recognize it? It feels like tenderness and passion at the same time. It's a combination of wanting and expecting and it's a signal to be good to yourself.

It's time to feed your soul by honoring your body. You honor your body when you respect it.  Notice what you sense with your eyes, ears, nose, mouth and heart.

"April showers bring May flowers." Everything you do has a result. The result of being good to yourself by honoring your body is: liking the way you look and feel. Flowers of satisfaction bloom when you're true to yourself.

Intuition is about satisfying yourself. Dieting is about denying yourself. When you satisfy yourself, you respect your body. When you deny yourself, you ignore your body. It's April - stop denying yourself and start respecting yourself.

Satisfaction connects with self-respect. You can't have one without the other.  Eat for satisfaction and discover love. 

Love, Respect and Satisfaction are all intuitive. Think with your senses, feel with your mind and be true to yourself. Eat and dance to the music in your soul. You will like the way you look and feel in the morning.

Here's Aretha Franklin singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T. 
Respect yourself and connect with the love.

What are you craving now?

Cravings are personal. They hit emotionally and physically and can feel confusing.  We're hungry for more than food. We feel:

• hunger for comfort
• craving for love
• passion to understand who we are
• thirst to protect ourselves and live well

When you ignore these appetites and just eat instead, it causes physical and emotional stress. The reason is because you're ignoring what you sense from your body and your heart! Using your 6 senses reconnects you with feelings of self-control.  Self-control feels like balance.

Why not protect yourself by using your 6th sense - intuition - to know what you're really craving?

Your body and senses are designed to relieve stress by focusing you on the present. This keeps you in control of choices.  Here's how to do it:

• Notice what you see, smell, taste and hear. This puts you in touch with your body.
• Notice how your body feels. Your body tells you when it's tired and when it's hungry. Your heart tells you when you're frustrated or lonely. Although the clock may say dinner, your body may not be hungry. Don't enslave your body to a clock. 
• You are not always hungry. Never force yourself to eat. When you feel full, you feel comfortable. Use your senses to notice what feels comforting. What you need to feel satisfied could be a good nights sleep, or you may need to call a good friend and vent, or just hear the sound of the voice of someone you miss. 

Use your 6th sense to respond:

• Are you craving love or companionship? Do something social.
• Are you famished for sports or excitement? Watch a game or find someone to play with.
• When was the last time you ate a relaxed satisfying meal with a friend? Maybe sharing the pleasures of eating and communicating will bring you satisfaction.     

Intuitive tools make it easy to recognize what you're craving and get it: without having stress. Your 6th sense always leads  to what's good for you. What's good for you, feels good, and will satisfy that craving.

Use Spring Fever to Lose Weight

Spring is a time of enthusiasm and a time of new beginnings.
You feel Spring fever in your body. Use that feeling to change the way you eat.

Begin to taste every meal,  savor every bite in your mouth,  share the enjoyment of it with others and stay connected with your body. Get sensual and lose weight with enjoyment, instead of diet-stress. De-stress means:

Don't Eat Simply To React. Eat Sensually and Slower.

Do Eat to Satisfy, Taste, Relax, get Energy and Satisfy yourSelf.

Stress is in your head. Digestion is in your body. When you're stressed it inhibits your body's abilities to get the most nourishment from what you eat. Stress impacts your ability to think clearly and it can release a hormone into your body telling it to hold on to fat!

De-stress and eat less. Forget diet dogma and tune into your body and your personal priorities. You know what feels good.  If you want to lose weight, make a commitment to yourself to trust your body and be honest with yourself about what matters, before putting something into your mouth.

Feel Spring. Let the enthusiasm of new beginnings free you from old regrets and old self-defeating habits. Today is your day to begin the rest of your life. Do it with dignity and self-respect.

Use intuitive tools to get liberated from extra weight and old patterns that are so 'last year'. 

See yourself in summer clothes looking happy, healthy and feeling fit. Feed that person! She's as real as you allow her to be. Go for it, it's Spring!  

Nature is forgiving, it begins anew each year. Forgive yourself for bad decisions and shed them with your weight by eating intuitively. Spring fever is a time to feel light with joy!

Start now by smiling. There's a billboard in Texas that says: "If you see a man without a smile, give him yours."  Do it and spread the fever.

The reason the new iPad is Sexy.

Have you seen it yet? It's sensual, a visual orgy. The new iPad will literally enhance your vision by stimulating your eyes. Anything that massages our senses, and doesn't tell us what to do at the same time, is sexy.

We are so used to media bombarding our senses and telling us what to do, that we absorb it emotionally and ignore it physically. The result is we experience a kind of intuitive shutdown.

The iPad gives us the opportunity to see intimately and draw our own conclusions. The allure is sensual. Using your senses connects you with your body and your intuition. Intuition is the 6th sense. Like our eyes, we take it for granted. It's not intellectual, it's physical. The new iPad is an opportunity to recognize your intuition. It's a feeling.

That's why the new iPad is sexy.

When you sit down to a meal, it should be a visual orgy. Why not look at food and draw your own conclusions? If it doesn't excite your senses, there's a reason. Something's out of focus; things aren't what they seem. Use your eyes, and see if you like what you're looking at.

Eating is intimate, personal and sensual. You should like what you're feeling. The goal of eating is to refresh your body, mind and soul. It's normal to feel intuitively drawn to your food. The body is your source of stamina and strength; the mind is your hard drive, and intuition opens a connection with your soul. Healthy eating includes feeding all three.

Why not get in focus when you eat and notice what you see? It's time to start thinking with your senses. It will relax your body and free your mind, and you can draw your own conclusions.

1 Day a Week Challenge

One day a week, use your 5 senses with the intuitive tools when you eat. If you do this for at least 1 month and write a comment  about it, then, for a limited time, you can receive a free copy of Am I Really Hungry?

If you want to be an intuitive eater for bathing suit season, try eating intuitively every other day. Watch what happens. Buy 3 copies of Am I Really Hungry? for your friends and spread the word.

Morning After Binge

Recently, I've been asked:

• Why do I feel so hungry in the morning after an evening of non-stop eating? Shouldn't I feel full instead?

You feel hungry because the food you binged on was not what your body needed for nourishment. When you eat because you're stressed, frustrated, angry or bored, it has nothing to do with nourishing your body. Imagine if you put the wrong gas in your car, even if you overflow the tank - it won't run.

• Why does my body feel so sluggish and bloated? What happens physically?

Physically, you've clogged your pipes. When you eat without noticing how your body feels, you're abusing yourself. Even though your body is efficient, it still has to sort through, digest and get rid of the evening's onslaught.

• Why does this affect my mood, outlook and self-esteem? I feel like I'm a failure, have no self worth, and that this negative downward spiral seems to be my destiny - a life of self-inflicted ups and downs - all caused by abusing food.

It's frustrating to feel out of control. Your mood, outlook and self-esteem are not the result of abusing food. Instead they are the result of abusing yourself.  Your body is not an object, it's a very real connection with your heart and psyche. The first rule of intuitive eating is to protect yourself. It's part of your survival instinct. 

Use the intuitive tool of patience to give yourself grace. When you're patient- instead of angry with yourself, you can understand what pushes your button and how to protect yourself against it the next time. Once you use patience, you will discover you feel more peaceful. Then use the intuitive tool of foresight for self-defense. Make a plan to protect yourself.

• Why do I want to punish myself by abusing my body and my heart?

You don't! However you have been programmed by diet programs to believe eating certain foods is "bad" and that you are "bad" for craving them.  Programming whether it's from our parents, media or programs is inner dialogue that runs like a script in our heads. Your inner voice is your intuition. It may warn you with a gut feeling but it will never lead you to punish yourself. Read the sections Am I Really Hungry that explain how to know the difference between your inner voice (intuition) and inner dialogue (media/parents/programs). Use the index and get in-depth answers. 

•  Why is so hard to regain control after several days of overeating? 

You may have all kinds of chemicals and sugar in your system keeping you out of touch with your body. If you're finding you're uncontrollable, treat food like a drug. If this drug is screwing with your body, it's destroying your health. Without your health, you cannot live.

Confusion caused by a chemical imbalance is hard to deal with. It's time to use tough love which is doing what is right instead of what is easiest. Read the chapter called Satisfaction in Am I Really Hungry to get some clear ways to do this.

• How can I get back in touch with my intuition and break this cycle?

Life is always going to have unexpected stresses. Forgive yourself and allow yourself to get back in sync with your body and mind. Focus on using your 5 senses when you're around food. When you feel an emotional drive to binge, take control by giving yourself 3 minutes to use foresight and patience. Make a commitment to honor yourself. Every day, every meal is a new opportunity to recommit to protecting yourself.

Listen to your body. Ultimately your body has a 'mind' of it's own and is clear about what feels satisfying and what foods make you physically at peace. 

The Inner Game of Eating

Imagine you can eat what you want, know when you're hungry and be happy with your body and yourself. It's all part of the inner game of eating self-control. The inner game keeps your head in tune with your gut feelings and your body with simple intuitive tools.

• Your head is the hard drive where you store experience and where your values connect. 
•  Your gut feeling is the connection that protects you by staying clear about what you sense and your long term priorities. 
• Your body is the source of energy, health and pleasure. Naturally, you want to tune in to that! 

Intuition is having an open mind and a flexible attitude. Sitting down to eat without a plan is having an open mind. This arms you with an awareness that you drives you to feel curious about your choices. Part of the inner game of eating is realizing that you always have options.

Having a flexible attitude gives perspective. For example, If I eat this whole pizza, will I like what it does to my body?, If I slam this sandwich down my throat without even tasting it, will I feel satisfied?  The inner game of eating puts you in charge of what you do.

• Perspective is how you know yourself. 
• It allows you to get out of your own way to see where you're going. 
  
  
  
  The inner game of eating includes checking in with your body with all 5 senses before you put food in your mouth. Doing that is your intuitive way of showing self-respect. Your senses give you an intimate reality check. What's real is not a plan or a number on a scale.  What's real when it comes to the inner game is how you feel, what you sense and your personal priorities. 

Listening to your 6th sense teaches you about yourself. The better you know yourself, the easier it is to be good to yourself by maintaining eating self-control. It's surprisingly natural to get through the maze of eating challenges and diet stress to discover satisfaction with yourself by knowing the inner game of eating self-control.  Intuitive tools that keep you in touch with eating self-control include:

• curiosity reminds you to notice what you notice with your senses and your mind
• prudence is the reminder that you always have options and the ability to choose what feels best
• foresight reminds you to think about the results of your choices so there are no regrets.

The inner game of eating connects with what you value long-term in your life. You stay clear about what gives you pleasure and away from what fills you with regret. It feels like common sense.

On Thursday, March1st at 1PM EST, I will be doing a teleseminar about how to re-invent personal dieting by connecting with your inner game of eating self-control with Holistic Nutrition Coach, Nancy Desjardins. Registration is free. Sign up and get some answers! See you there.

 

Intuitive Magic

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. ~George Bernard Shaw

Curiosity is intuitive. It's something you feel, not something you think. The more curious you are, the more satisfaction you will discover with yourself and in your world.

Working to live intuitively is going to change the way you eat and feel. Trusting your intuition is being true to yourself. It's respecting your body, listening to your heart and not letting your head be bulldozed into someone else's thinking pattern.

Eating is about pleasuring your body - not in a lewd or sexual way, but in a way that fills you with the excitement of living. A satisfied body feels vibrant and alive. Real satisfaction around eating is nearly sacred. That's why there are so many rituals around food and eating.

When you diet, you develop damaging rituals around eating. These lead to bingeing and purging. They  create a mind-set of defeat. It's subtle until you realize you've gained 20 pounds or worse. Stop eating to fit in a mindset and start eating to fit in your own mind and body!

There is a simple ritual around eating that's intuitive magic. It opens your eyes and your heart. Doing it feels like common sense. The intuitive ritual around eating that I urge you to use is the ritual of Gratitude - before, during and after you eat. It will change everything.

Right now, stop looking at your watch and start looking at what you're doing. If you're offered a serving that's huge, there's no pleasure in packing food in as if you're a box to fill.

• Instead, savor the flavors. 
• Take a deep breath between bites and allow your body the space it naturally needs to relax and let the digestive juices flow.
• Pamper your inner health so that you can depend on it later.

Don't think of calories; think of the pleasures of great health. Don't look at the clock; be in the moment. Tune in to the magic.


Bon Appetite!

Overeating hurts! Eating is supposed to feel good.

You go out with friends to feel good. If you focus on food at a party, instead of feeding your present physical, social or emotional hungers, it doesn't feel good. Overeating is a trap because it never feels good physically or emotionally. 
 
To stay your healthy weight, remember that eating is supposed to feel good.  It's personal,  a direct response to your physical needs. It's intuitive to stay aware of how your body feels when you eat.

Is this you? :

• I eat fast and I eat a lot so I don't miss anything. This results from a habit of starving yourself as a form of control instead of realizing your body always tells you when you're hungry and when you're full.

• I stay by the buffet at a party because eating feels comforting. Overeating is never comforting to your body. Focusing mainly on food at a party is being dishonest with yourself because it leaves you feeling emotionally and socially starved.

• I go for 2nds and 3rds because I have high metabolism and everyone watches how much I can eat or
• I always talk about my diet at parties.  It's emotionally twisted to use eating to get attention, and it backfires. No one admires a pig. Also, no one really enjoys being with someone who complains about their diet or their body, instead of joining the fun.  

Intuition is action. Use intuition when you celebrate. If it feels good, do it!

• Listen to your heart and tune in to your libido. Use all of your senses at a party to feel good while you're there and feel satisfied with yourself later.

1. Eye contact with people opens doors that are gently exciting.
2. Listening to conversation and adding your thoughts feels good because communication nourishes your heart.
3. Really tasting your food slows down eating and is a way of experiencing pleasures that you notice with your mind.
4. It's mutually satisfying to talk about pleasure. Be sensual. If the chocolate mousse is like a dream on your tongue, talk about it. 

•  Pause, look at who you're talking to and notice yourself. It's intuitive to be clear about where you are and what you're doing. You'll discover some amazing and amusing things, and you'll change your habits because you won't like everything you see. You know yourself best. Notice what you notice.

If eating doesn't feel good to your heart or body - don't do it. Tune-in to your body and trust it by not abusing yourself.

Intuitive Exercise

Use your intuition to overcome uncomfortable emotional urges.

• Emotions make you feel heavy. Emotion-driven situations can make you feel like you're drowning. Remember: emotions are not more important than your body, especially when it's about eating. 
• Emotions make waves in our lives 24/7. It's the gamut of living. Your intuition keeps your head above the water, so you stay clear about your priorities while riding the waves. 
• You can't satisfy emotional hunger with food. That's why bingeing doesn't work. Instead, you can use intuition to know what's going to help you. 

Here's how to  flex your intuitive muscles to refresh and re-focus the next time you feel an emotional wave driving you towards an uncomfortable or compromising  choice.  

1. Try this:

•  Think of yourself when you're tense. Feel your body. Where are your shoulders? How does your neck feel? Where does your body hold tension? I hold mine in my stomach.

•  How do you look when you feel comfortable and relaxed?  What's on your mind? ... probably nothing :) How are your shoulders? How's your heart?... probably peaceful (*

When your shoulders are relaxed and your heart is comfortable, it's automatic to be aware of your priorities and personal boundaries. It's intuitive & healthiest for you to keep an emotional / physical / mental balance.

2. Look at yourself:

• When you're not really comfortable, it's automatic to lean forward just a little and this presses your heavy chest bone against your beating heart. Lift your sternum away from your heart. Notice the difference.
•  Use inner strength to be courageous and to be patient. Identify with someone you admire who could do it :  James Bond, Superman, Wonder Woman, Harry Potter, Mother Teresa,  etc. You can use the strength you recognize intuitively.
•  Use foresight to ask yourself : How does this choice feel? Tune in to your body.  Where are your shoulders? How is your heart?

3. Let your eyes and body distract you from your emotions.

• Breathe firmly in and out and really see what's in front of you. Look at colors and shapes. Notice what you notice. 
•  Breathe firmly in and out. Turn around and see what's behind you. Notice color details. 
•  Now your posture is alert, refreshed and re-focused. You're in sync with your intuition. It's pretty amazing, isn't it.

When life hits frustrating emotional walls, use your 6 senses  to stay clear about what you want. You will be in control of eating choices and look great.

• It's so easy, anyone can do it.

Let go and lose weight.

"It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back." -- Mick Jagger

The food-filled holidays are over. Still, at a party last night women and men confided in me that they had "let themselves go" between Thanksgiving and the new year. They felt burdened. It makes no sense to focus on what you ate last year.

The old emotionally manipulative 20th century diet mentality  is to humiliate yourself with regrets and beat yourself up with recriminations. It's wrong. It boomerangs and makes you hold on to guilt, anger and fat! 

Instead, give yourself space to come back to your best interests. Intuitive eating is tuning-in to the present. Use your 5 senses to recognize messages from your body and your 6th sense (intuition) and eat in response to physical hunger, your values, priorities and personal boundaries. 

Feeling badly about what you ate a month ago adds extra weight on your body. It makes you literally feel heavy! Put it down. Let go of it.

Time is passing, be guided by your moments.  Stay in the now and lighten up literally and psychologically! Feel good because you're committed to being true to your body and yourself.  Enjoy your next meal because it's the beginning of living your dream. 

Let yourself lose weight by letting go of regrets and guilt trips. Then, keep in step with today, eat less, chew more and use common sense. The pounds will come off.

This is January. Eat to protect your health from seasonal colds and flu and have energy for the best quality of life. You'll get some satisfaction.

Am I Really Hungry addresses how to recognize emotional hot buttons and turn them off. It was written in response to interviews with dieters and intuitive answers. Use this book to help you let go and lose weight.